


Love you, too, Asshole

by weepingnaiad



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Backstory, Community: trope_bingo, First Meetings, Friendship, Gen, Pre-Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-02
Updated: 2014-05-02
Packaged: 2018-01-21 16:38:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,117
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1557050
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/weepingnaiad/pseuds/weepingnaiad
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Phil Coulson first meets John Garrett he's pretty sure Garrett's an asshole.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Love you, too, Asshole

**Author's Note:**

> **Beta:** Both hitlikehammers and abigail89 read through this for me. Thank you both so much! Of course, I can't help but fiddle afterwards, so any mistakes are all on me.

When newly christened probationary agent Philip James Coulson first meets Jonathan William Garrett, Phil thinks the former marine might be an asshole. Garrett is cocky, sarcastic, and arrogant, especially when he swaggers into muster dead last and grinning like his shit don't stink. Phil wants to wipe that smirk off his face. Luckily for Phil, they're in separate rotations and he can avoid Garrett for the most part.

The next time Phil meets Garrett, he _knows_ Garrett's an asshole. Phil comes to that conclusion as he's landing flat on his back, winded from a throw. An _illegal_ throw. Garrett plays dirty and has the balls to do it while Director Johnson watches their class. It would almost inspire respect if Garrett wasn't gloating about dropping the badass former Ranger. At least Phil merits the term 'badass'.

When Phil next tangles with Garrett, he pops Garrett in the mouth to finally shut him up. They both end up doing disciplinary sprints while wearing fully-loaded packs and Phil gets the satisfaction of running Garrett into the ground. At least the dickwad's not spouting off when he's gasping for breath. But nothing Director Johnson threatens Phil with will make him apologize. He doesn't like a bully and Garrett was riding Blake's ass too hard, for too long.

The fourth time Phil encounters Garrett, they're standing at parade rest being introduced to their shared SO, Nick Fury. Phil accepts the order with as much quiet dignity as he can summon when he wants to protest, but Garrett swears up a blue streak inviting Fury to get in his face.

"You got a problem with me, probie?" Fury spits out and Phil recognizes the danger in his tone.

"No, sir!"

"Then would you care to explain what you _do_ have a problem with?" Fury's tone is deceptively mild.

"Coulson's a supercilious, holier than thou priss with a stick up his butt," he answers, tacking on a belated, "Sir," at the last moment.

Fury cocks an eyebrow as though he is considering Garrett's charges. Phil's blood runs cold as Fury turns to look at him. "What do you have to say for yourself?"

"I don't like bullies, sir. Or cocksure, arrogant _Marines,_ who're all talk and jump in without thought," Phil replies.

Fury's answer is to clap them both on the shoulders, his face too reminiscent of a shark's as he looks at them. "Not like I care if you like each other. We're not here to talk about feelings or braid each other's hair." His hand is heavy on Phil's shoulder. "But you will learn to work together. And you will learn to respect each other. You are probationary SHIELD agents now, not American military. I expect you to remember that in the future."

He turns them toward the obstacle course where a diminutive dark-haired woman is running rings around the men. "You best leave that shit back where it belongs and get with the goddamned program, gentlemen. That means learn to work with each other or you're out."

"But, sir--" John begins.

"You have not earned the right to question me, but since you think you want to, feel free to join the obstacle course, _probie._." Phil knows that is no request. He's so glad he learned to hold his tongue at a young age.

"Now?" John asks, eyes wide in disbelief.

"Did I stutter?"

Garrett swallows, flicks a cold glare toward Phil, then takes off at a quick jog.

Fury watches for a moment, then turns his attention on Phil. "You have something to say?"

"No, sir!"

"Good. But just so we're clear. You do have a stick up your ass. And he's an arrogant SOB. I need you to figure out how to get past it or you're both out." Fury stops speaking, but he's waiting on Phil to say something.

Phil recognizes it for what it is and replies with a simple, "Yes, sir."

Fury nods once, then strides away. He's at the edge of the course and begins bellowing at Garrett to pick up the pace.

Blake joins Phil, murmuring quietly, "You are so fucked, man."

"Don't I know it." 

~~*~~

They do try to curb their first impulses toward each other, but it still takes too much time for Phil and Garrett to figure out how to work together. Garrett's all bravado and instinct -- punch hard and most importantly, _first_ \-- while Phil's more measured, reasoned, cautious style grates on Garrett's nerves. At least he learns to bite his tongue when Phil maps out an additional contingency plan. They still butt heads all the time and Fury catches them during an off day, walking in just as the fists start flying. He treats them to a lesson in trust and teamwork that they don't soon forget.

And the lesson sticks. Or, if it doesn't, they do manage to 'fake it' enough to be convincing. They get sent on a field op where they don't have to monitor from the transport. And Garrett preens in his tac suit. Struts like a goddamned peacock. Phil would prefer a suit, but he concedes that the SHIELD-issued tactical suit is bullet resistant and breathable, plus he doesn't look half bad in it, better than Garrett, if he does so say himself. Especially without the ridiculous Garrett swagger.

The intel is faulty, bad enough that Phil wonders if the whole thing isn't a setup and then Garrett saves Phil's life. He pulls Phil out of the shitstorm that the dingy warehouse had become, helps him, more like halfway carries Phil to the extraction site where Garrett keeps pressure on the gaping gash on Phil's side all while regaling Phil with non-stop unbelievable tales of his adventures in the Marines. Phil would object but he doesn't have the strength and Garrett's voice keeps him tethered to consciousness. By the time the medics arrive, Phil is half-delirious, so much so, that he can't decide if it's the pain that's making him laugh or Garrett's stupid jokes.

When he wakes in a bland SHIELD medical facility, Garrett's asleep at his bedside.

"You look like shit, asshole," Phil croaks out.

Garrett comes awake slowly, his shit-eating grin gradually widening as he blinks lazily at Phil. "And I still look damn sight better'n you, Miss Priss," he says. He slips Phil some ice chips which feel like ambrosia and Phil's knocked back out before he can offer his gratitude.

After that, Garrett has Phil's back and Phil has Garrett's. It's true what they say about trial by fire and a bond born of blood. But Phil still knows that John Garrett is an asshole. But he's an asshole that Phil would take a bullet for. And he does.

**Author's Note:**

>  **A/N:** More of my Phil pheels. And, yes, I completely disregarded the canon that Fury recruited Phil directly out of high school. He's still young here, but Phil's a Ranger, dammit! Credit for the title goes to abigail89 because I suck at titles. Lastly this satisfies my trope_bingo square: _rites of passage / coming of age_. 
> 
> **Disclaimer:** These are Marvel and Whedon and ABC's characters used in the spirit of creative commons. I promise to return them with smiles on.


End file.
